Rest

No.

One of the smallest words. 

One of the hardest words.

To say. And to do. 

For those who put themselves last. 

For those who give out over and over and over. 

For those who are always helping others.

Always doing something all the time.

Those.

Those are they,

Who cannot say no.

They, who 

Cannot turn someone down without feeling a major wave of guilt after the word dodges their clinched teeth and forcefully makes its way out.

A guilt so heavy it would have been lighter to say yes and carry through yet another task.

Sometimes it's easier to just say yes. 

For those who would feel guilty at watching something go undone when they could have done it and said "yes." 

But 

A wise friend once said, "scheduled rest is not unproductive." 

It's okay to say no. 

Not everything can be done by the same person.

Self-preservation is something that is okay to do and necessary at times. 

Yes, it is okay to stay home one evening a week and rest. 

It is okay to give time to spend with your family.

 To take a walk.

 To read a book. 

To get an early nights sleep.

 To do nothing.

If you have stayed home for more than one evening a week to rest, then maybe this isn't for you. Most of the people I know and love dearly have to schedule in an evening to simply to nothing because all other days are filled with "yes", away from family dinner time, away from home, and yes, away from good sleep and rest. 

Some of the hardest working people I know are within my age group. 

One thing I am proud of is to be a part of a generation who works hard, without the need of affirmation. They are not lazy. You can count on them working in some type of capacity all the time. 

But can I remind my generation that it is okay to say no. It is okay to not carry everything on our shoulders all the time. 

God doesn't except us to never rest. He excepts us to do our best with what he has given us. And he has also given us the perfect amount of energy for those very things. And He will be enough. And yes, we can rest in Him. 

I appreciate and value all of the hard workers I know. You are important to me.

He Sustains Me.

Why I believe in God:

There are quite a few "why's". 

But one reason I believe in God is the way he has sustained me or rather put people in my life to sustain me. 

I'm not biologically fatherless. None of us are. But from the age of 6, I lost a father emotionally and physically. He wasn't there. 

And I don't have many memories of him. Or my childhood prior to the age of 6. My mind created a defining moment during the time I became fatherless in certain ways. And that's all I am left with. 

This subject is a bit uncomfortable for me. Not because it makes me vulnerable, but because I have never liked the idea of using my losses in life as a way to get compassion and pity. I don't want others to feel sorry for me. 

Because honestly, I can say I didn't miss out on much. And what I mean by that is that God has continually placed someone in my life to sustain me in all the ways I would seem fatherless growing up. Looking back on my life, I see so many people who took a missing piece of my fatherless puzzle and filled it for a length of time. 

That's one primary reason why I believe in God. When all the statistics show I shouldn't be where I am today. That I shouldn't be a healthy human being, both in body and mind because I am fatherless. That I shouldn't know how to love fully and I shouldn't understand the father-daughter relationship because I lacked one. That I should be mentally ill, homeless, or extremely emotionally wrecked. That is the research, the science, and the numbers for people who have a childhood like I did. 

But God defies all of those. He doesn't work in finite numbers and science all the time. He is above that.

So when I tell you, I grew up without a father, and that at 6 years old I witnessed events that young eyes like mine should never have to see, but did. And yet, defied the odds and defied the statistics, it's because of God.

Not anything I did. But my whole life I have rested in the palm of his hand and watched him continually fill in that hole with people who love me. 

I believe in God because really, I should not  be who I am today and where I am today and have the healthy happy relationships I have with people when considering my childhood. I believe in God because my own life is an example what should be impossible. 

He sustains me.