My take on Christmas

It's innocence.

It's peace.

It's quietness.

That as I age 

These three become sweeter 

As more Decembers pass by.

It's the only time of year

Where guilt I do not feel

For stepping away from all 

Except my family.

In my Christmas 

The world closes down. 

And Jesus and my family

Have a lot of time together. 

It's where I have open days and nights 

To simply sit and stare out the window.

To stay home. 

To indulge in blank space of time. 

To hold the hands of my family.

And let my lap feel the weight of littles 

Who are experiencing this time of year for the first time.

And we'll treasure the texture of smooth pages of books.

We'll hold a lot of hot cups of drink.

And we'll talk about all the good in the year

And how Jesus has been good to us yet again for another full year.

And we'll look at pictures.

And smile.

And compare the growth of the littles.

And then reflect internally on our own growth. 

And Jesus will be all in it. And all about it.

Spiritual as it may.

To bake cookies in the kitchen with my sister.

And listen to my husband tell those littles the story of Jesus' birth in the background.

And maybe we'll spend a little money. 

On a gift or two. 

And unwrap a thing or two we need.

Symbolic to us of the gift of God in our lives that we unwrap daily. 

And maybe we'll cry.

Tears of happiness.

Of being together. Alive. And healthy. 

And thank God for these things. 

And we will put up a light or two. 

And fill our home with scents of the time

of year. 

And be thankful to God for everything.

December is a spiritual month for me. 

Also an emotional one.

It's the highlight of my childhood. I grew up looking forwards to this time of year for 23 years now.

I can still close my eyes and see my Papa's face. As he smiled at my cousins and I running around the living room. It's the time of year when we all came together in one place at one time.

I can still hear my Nina bustling around in the kitchen with a rag wiping the counter in one hand and stirring dinner in the other. 

Christmas is the only thing I have left that closely reminds me of them and all they gave me. 

So pardon me I pray 

Those that may not understand.

For most of my life is wrapped around this time of year.

For me it's big.

It's special.

It's tender.

It's necessary. 

It's good.

It's innocent. 

It's Christmas time.

No work. 

No tasks to be done

except to be with God and my family. 

It's a time of rejuvenation for me. 

Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. 

It's for the first time all month 

That I stay home in the evenings after work. 

And then stay home from work too. 

To stare out the window.

And watch the snow fall.

And be so close to my God and my

Family. 

I close everything out.

For this one time a year. 

And reflect. And believe. 

So as I draw in for this week, 

May God be near you this time of year and all year.

I often feel His hand closest this time of year. 

I hope you can to. 

See you all in you 2017. 

Merry Christmas.